The one thing that I believe all pastors and ministry leaders have in common is the desire to be effective in both life and ministry. Whenever I have an opportunity to talk to pastors, ministry leaders, or potential church planters, I share that I have discovered one thing that can increase their rate of success in these areas. There is a widely discussed, but underutilized thing that can immediately benefit every pastor, parishioner, parent, and leader.
I’ve held quite a few positions in my lifetime, achieved many goals, and endured some significant failures. Over that period of time I have tried many different methods, programs, read hundreds of books, and attended multiple conferences and seminars. In the past couple of years I have discovered the one thing that has dramatically improved my personal and professional life. I have become a better disciple, husband, father, pastor, and leader all as a benefit of this widely known but underutilized and misunderstood thing. What is this amazing thing? Coaching.
There can be a bit of confusion about what coaching is and what it is not. Many confuse coaching with mentoring. While coaches and mentors may share some traits and skills, they are different in type and function. A mentor is typically a subject matter expert in a relationship with a less experienced person in the same field. They use their superior knowledge and experience to teach and guide their protege. Coaches, however, use their relationship to move the coached person toward increased competence and fulfillment using much different means. The coach helps us by building confidence, unlocking potential, increasing skills, and helping us take practical steps towards our goals. Where the mentor attempts to transfer their knowledge to another, the coach helps the other person discover the potential they already possess.
Joseph Umidi, in his book Transformational Coaching, lists four skills and roles that are vital to an effective coach. I would encourage you to consider them as you seek to enter a coaching relationship. These skills and roles are:
- Perspective Power – the ability to understand what our call is in times of difficulty or disappointment; a desire to see people live fulfilled lives at every level.
- Help Discover the Deep Places – helping the leader discover the deep places within themselves where transformation actually occurs; the coach aids the leader in discovering that transformation is an internal, rather than external, endeavor.
- Help to Listen Differently – by facilitating transformational listening and hearing, the coach ensures that the leader listens closely to the voices that will propel them towards their destiny and call.
- Ask Probing Questions – effective coaches have the ability to ask probing questions and develop more than a superficial relationship with the leader; Jesus excellently modeled this skill.
Soon after Harvest Christian Fellowship began as a church plant in 2007 I learned that church planting was not for the faint of heart. The church demanded more of me, and my family, than I ever thought possible. This has been one of the most difficult things that I have ever done in my life and the cost has been tremendous. Over the years I have read many books, attended many conferences, and had many sleepless nights. I have watched the church grow and contract, people come and people go. I have gone through times when I thought success was around the corner, and I have looked what seemed to be defeat directly in the face. I have tried many different things with varying levels of success, but the one thing that has, over the last two years, made a lasting positive impact on my success as a pastoral leader and person has been the coaching relationships that I have enjoyed.
The coaching relationships that I’ve been a part of have helped because the coach helped me to process the path forward and asked the questions that led me to make the assessments needed. My coaches have not given me the answers, but have walked with and pushed me to discover the answers on my own. If you are looking for something to help you fulfill your potential, increase your success, and clarify your path, then I encourage you to invest in a coaching relationship today.
Do you have a coach? Have you been coached in the past? What was your experience? I’d love to hear how coaching benefits or benefitted you as a leader.